Oh how He loves us.

Sometimes when things go too right, I tend to forget about God. I still pray and worship, but I fail to listen to God for most of the time. When He speaks I would rather think about all the things I can do in a day and the temporarily happiness that I can find without needing His guidance. Yet when some things break down its when I finally realize that I need God so much more than I thought, when He is all I have and all that I should depend on is when I see His love for us.

Why is it that when things go well we always lose sight of the great Lord. Maybe that's why there is so much pain and suffering in the world, because when there is extended happiness all we learn to depend and lean on for support and joy is our friends, our families, our material possessions, our worldy lives. Yet when we have everything taken away, when God is the only one that remains, that we finally lean on him and learn about Him and know that He is just as good in the past when there was joy as now when there is suffering. God is constant through all, He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. It makes logical sense then to contemplate that the sufferings we endure are therefore for our own good, because it brings us closer to Him.

I'm beginning to think that is the trick to living a content and satisfying life, to be able to enjoy God when we are doing well in life, and also to not have to change when things go wrong, because our hope has been on Him this entire time. What does it mean to lean on God? I don't even know anymore. What does it mean to have Him in our lives? How do we gain this strength to survive, to keep going and to see the grace that He provides us everyday when we lose our crutch. There is that one parable that I see people use often; 'Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, feed him forever.' God could just give us a satisfying good life, but how can we ever learn about Him, about the person behind all these fish, if everyday we just wake up to fish on our tables. God is teaching us how to fish, how to live in Him. When we don't go fishing everyday, we end up hungry. Sadly, unlike hunger, we don't realize our depravity and our dire need for Christ until it is quite simply too late. We need to make our lives like that, where God is more important than food, where one day without Him will leave us starving and needing to get back to Him as soon as possible.

Recently, this idea of bearing with one another crept up in my life. That I'm supposed to seek after others with love and patience, bearing with their faults and forgiving them. There's a lot of people in my life that I don't really bear with. I would rather hang out with my close friends, and the others I'm willing just to see on a necessity basis; it's not really the right thing to do. Where on earth do I find this love when I have none of own, where can I turn now. Sometimes I'm scared to pray for certain things, because I think the way God answers prayers is to force us into situations that require those skills we prayed for. I pray for patience and God puts in my life those who I would quickly lose patience with. I pray for trust in God and then suddenly there are moments where I have no other options but to put my hopes and my faith in Him. I end up praying for them anyways, and enduring the consequences. This is because I figure those skills, though I don't want to go through learning to have them, will eventually prove much more useful in my life. If God knows my heart and my needs, why should I not acknowledge them myself. And when it comes to a point where I don't believe I can handle it anymore, when I find my strength lacking and draining away, I find that miraculously the energy I need fills my heart and I keep going. How God loves us so. So my prayer is for forgiveness, to love those I would rather not love. To throw away all my earthly assumptions and pride and desires, and simply turn to Him knowing that His will is sovereign and that all is for our good in the end, no matter how painful and mysterious it might seem at the present.

If His grace is like an ocean, we're all sinking.

Danny Boy

I read this short story today that started out really really really slow, but somehow picked up and ended shockingly. I have to say it was something I wasn't expecting, but considering the site I don't see why I was so surprised at the end of it all. It was a long metaphor about Jesus' sacrifice for us, and the right attitude we should have in light of that. It doesn't tell us to be consumed by guilt, but rather have a gratitude for Him, for the Savior that freed us from the guilt and led us to something better than ourselves. The only problem with the story was that it took about 100 pages to go through it all.

The story linked me to this passage in the Bible.

Philippians 2

Imitating Christ's Humility

¹If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
⁹Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

'Do not do anything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.' Here's a lesson for me if I've ever seen one. I find that I"m calculating in a way that I will tend to act for my own benefit regardless of the situation, and that usually it ends up being the first thing I think of. It's something I've been working on, and quite honestly I'm still failing pretty badly at this point. It's hard to let everything go for God, which is an interesting thought, because He let everything go for us. We can repay God for all that He has done, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

Humility is such an important idea, with very relevant practical applications. I find it pretty easy to consider someone worse than me, but to humble myself to someone I feel is lesser and put his/her needs and burdens over mine is certainly a strange idea. Slowly I've been working at giving God credit for the things of my life, and I hope as a part of that I begin to put others in a place over me, to love them more than I love myself.

I've realized that our journey needs to begin with God. That before we have the capacity to humble ourselves to others, and to carry their burdens, we must have a communion with God that reflects our unity with Him, our desires to spend more time with him and grow in him. Through this process, our hearts will begin to turn towards the right direction. No longer will we be influenced by our own ambitions, because we know that humanely ambitions are doomed to fail. The will of God prevails, and so it naturally makes sense we should learn from God how to be successful in life.

Whole

Ephesians 1:3-4

How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. -The Message

³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, ⁴ even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. -ESV

I want to tackle this idea of being made whole and holy in Christ. It's amazing to think that before anything was created, God had already planned for our creation and our lives. That amid all the greatness of nature and the world that surrounds us and encompasses us, God had already decided that we would be the objects of His love and grace. How spectacular that is, to think that our lives were already set so that we would grow and that we would be happy and joyful forever! Worrying about the little details of life seems so insignificant compared the whole picture really, of what we are here to do and what we will accomplish in this world. But God planned it all, the little details and the big pictures, He loved us enough to do that, to make sure that we would not lose our way forever, that His hand would always be there to push and guide us.

This idea of being whole in Christ is really something else. As I think about it, I'm a very incomplete person. I might have some strengths, but many weaknesses that tend to overshadow any benefits I might provide people in life. I am wretched, depraved, useless, and hateful. I find it hard to love others, I would rather find minor annoyances to judge them by and perhaps sacrifice valuable friends in the process. I always expect the worst out of people, but demand their best. And when they can't provide that, I tell myself that's who they are and hate them for it. As I walk in Christ, I've learned that these things aren't going to become easier, and by my strength they will always remain. But Christ is making me whole, and when I can't find the strength to love, to accept people, He will provide. That though my heart is in pieces, and I wander the world blind, His hand is leading me to where He is. To be made whole in Christ is a glorious thing indeed. All these holes in my life are being filled up, and as they do, I'm finding my heart more and more in peace with where Christ has placed me. Life isn't about being the richest or the most powerful, but rather about finding that contentment with our lot. I think as incomplete beings, we always seek something to fill the hole, but it always falls short. Finally Christ filled that hole for us, and the Holy Spirit is sealing it, that we might have that peace at last. Without God, we would be lacking, without God, we would be wandering forever. Glory to God the Father and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit that decided we should not wander forever, and let us rest by the creek and enjoy God's greatness.

'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home.