A life of meaning

“As if a job title and salary were the sole measure of human worth” – Bill Watterson.

http://zenpencils.com/comic/128-bill-watterson-a-cartoonists-advice/

Bill Watterson, the mind behind the famed Calvin and Hobbes comic, highlighted a fact of life that I believe is quite universal to those of us who work and perhaps haven’t found our true passion. (Which based on my sampling is a good bunch of us.) It is nice to see my dreams of playing on a hill realized in a comic and I hope one day that I will. Sometimes it feels like life starts when work ends. And that the majority of our time we dedicate each day to work is simply the payment for having a few hours of life every day and the weekends to waste away. We’re taught that mindset is wrong, and not because we should enjoy work, but rather because we have to keep climbing the corporate ladder and have the future promise of wealth and safety be our only goal. In interacting with my coworkers I see the reality of that mindset, to keep working and socializing and blurring the lines of the 9-5 so that each day is a new opportunity to get ahead and seem in control of what we are really doing.

Having since turned 25 this topic has been on my mind quite a bit. When I first started working I didn't think I would ever struggle with the idea of success and salary, in particular since I was really just trying to be employed my focus was rather short termed. But having worked for a few years I do indeed feel the call to make work my life, and to be in competition for that promotion and salary and all the niceties the come with it. There is such temptation everyday not only to do extra work but to get ahead of co-workers and make nice to the bosses. And all for the goal of being successful, having a nice car & house, and living the dream that had always been promised. And above all I dream of freedom, to have the title that will let me set my work hours, to choose what I want to do, and to call the shots on what I want to pursue. To be able to retire young and do whatever it is I want without a boss or someone watching over my back all the time.

And I don’t think this is limited to just my career or salary. I've been finding out that there are so many things I define my own success and failures by that are apart from Christ. So many things that society views as valuable and I copy to try and fit in, to try and emulate a sense of belonging. And when I don’t have them I am crushed. I can’t sleep. I spend wasted hours dreaming of being one of the cool kids with the nice job and great friendships. Isn't that ridiculous? I dream of having the perfect friendships, the ones that you see on TV where everybody is happy, as if there was ever such a thing. What they don’t tell you is that when the camera turns off, there are real people with real problems and real scars that need the love and care of fellowship in their weakness and pain. Who are in need of a Savior.

God had intended something else for us. But with sin we found it impossible to achieve the reality of what had been promised. Instead we stumble around in this shadow of what should be, trying to dig our way through the mess that has become work, life, friendship, and ultimately our faith. But in the midst of what the world is telling us to do, we have the clear voice of God commanding us to actually follow after Him instead, and letting us know that it’s all going to be alright.

I believe in the promise that in Heaven the work we will be assigned by God will be perfectly satisfying and fulfilling. Back in college I used to think that Heaven meant we wouldn't have to do any work and could just lay around enjoying God’s glory, but I figured if mostly all the Biblical characters worked very hard to fulfill their calling in God that it had to be somehow tied to what God intends for us in the future. And that is not to say that all the work we do now is futile, but rather that the common reasons for why we work are. There is meaning to be found in doing a job that can provide for your family, that can support missionaries in the World, and that can help the poor and in need. What distinguishes godly work from pointless work is that in whatever we do we do it for God. That besides those who are clearly seen working in the church there are those that work quietly in the back and sidelines, doing what God has called them to. For God had called all of us to certain duties, as in the parable of the talents, people were given different amounts and expected to produce with what they had and not to compare with how many that other guy/gal started with.

Meaning isn't found in being happy in this world. It isn't found in the wisdoms that tell us to work hard now so we can rest later, or to find the spouse that will make you most happy. 1 Corinthians tells us that the wisdom of God confounds the world and is a stumbling block to those who can’t accept it. But to us that have been called, it is salvation and peace and joy. Meaning is found in following faithfully after God every day. To see the choices before us and pick the one that is a life of serving others and bearing our cross. To realize that the people in our lives are not to ignored for the sake of wanting better, but rather here to support and bear with each other in the road to Christ.

Faith doesn't die in a great sudden explosion of realization that there is no God. It isn't suddenly changed when someone provides a great argument against Jesus. I believe faith dies in the slow stumbling death of everyday submission to the world. Something subtle but surely enough stone by stone our foundation is torn away until one day we find we no longer walk with Christ. And so each new day by the strength of God we should follow faithfully after Him and build up the foundation that Christ has provided that we might be protected from the temptations of the enemy. I think ultimately, we are called each day to be bold with the gospel. To follow almost recklessly after the conviction God has placed in our hearts, trusting that He’ll provide by grace what we can’t achieve by our hands. And whether or not we succeed at the end of the day, we will always know there is a loving Father to welcome us home. 

The Importance of Hope

When I entered college, I thought I had the world figured out. After a few years in college I had an idea of what I wanted to do but wasn't too sure about my life. Now I'm just simply glad to have a job and I don't really think about where I want my career to take me. When I thought about this initially, it seemed to me that as I grew older and older, the worries and cares of life have begun to unravel my plans and goals. As I considered this thought, I realized that as our goals and desires disappear that we can fill these things in with what belonged there in the first place: An undying hope and desire for God. We can have all these plans and things we wish to accomplish in this life, but inevitably the strain and cost of running down that path tears us down little by little and at the end of the journey we look back and wonder what it was all for.

For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. -1 Timothy 6:7

We came into this world bare and with no promise of an inheritance other than the great promise of eternal life and caring from a loving God. When I think about my imaginary earthly inheritance, I imagine that if I had one I'd be excited for when it came to me. (Hopefully not when my parents died but more like when I became a certain age) But as this verse from Timothy tells us that when we leave this world we will take nothing with us and therefore the realization and hope of an earthly inheritance fades. But we came into the world with the promise of a loving God and we leave with that promise yet. We did not bring grace with us into this world, and when as leave it will still always be with us.

There's this new song by Tim Be Told called Analyze. In the official music video it shows these people holding up signs for how they feel. Watching these people, I realized that the thing they lacked was a hope for greater things and a realization of their blessings. Throughout the video, these people go through a transformation of sorts and their signs change.

I feel scared...but I'm loved
I feel inadequate...but I'm talented
I feel weak...but I'm strong
I feel ugly...but I'm beautiful
I feel burnt out...but I'm not giving up
I feel lost...but I won't stop
I feel confused...but I'll be ready
I feel irrelevant....but I'm important
I feel worried...but I'll figure it out
I feel unaccepted...but I'm unique
I feel cynical...but I still hope
I'm hurt...but I'm getting better
I feel angry inside...but I'll find peace
I feel unwanted...but I'm needed
I'm lonely...but I'm not alone
I'm broken...but I'll rise up
I feel stupid...but I'm still learning

Listening to this song I saw that when we add God into the equation all the hurt and pain is made into a sanctifying process by which we are being turned into His likeness. This does not mean that the pain goes away or that the hurt is any less, but that now we have purpose in the suffering. We have hope that all this is for something more, that at the end of this suffering there is infinite joy in the living God who has rescued and rescues us daily from our burdens and the cruelty of this world. God existing outside of time means that all the seemingly worthless pain we experienced indeed had a purpose, to bring us in the end under the shadow of His wings and into His loving embrace. When I thought about these negative feelings listed here, I felt a certain hopelessness in it all. I know at some point in my life I've felt all of these. But the transforming power of God's word changes these emotions into a positive reality.

Without hope we lose track of what the reality is. We no longer have encouragement and strength in what is to come. We fall into the dredges of life and feel pulled by nothing except empty promises that we cannot take with us. But we are not these. We have been given a great calling and promise in Christ and we live in hope of that inheritance we will gain when His glory is realized once again and He returns to redeem and grant us the eternity of salvation. All that we experience and suffer through need to be tempered with the hope of Christ.

And so my unraveling plans expose a greater plan through it all. God does not call us to seek the future things of this world but rather the daily calling to thirst and hope in Him knowing that each day is another gift from Him for us to use and enjoy. We are called to give up considering our lives and success in the time to come and rather take up a burden to live each day well and pleasing in His sight. In these there will be suffering and joy, pain and happiness, but in all things there will be the God who sustains us and promises us an inheritance beyond anything this world can offer. An inheritance that will remain with us forever. May the hope of salvation in Christ strengthen your weak knees and tired arms.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. - Hebrews 10:23

Discipleship

Today when I walked out of Andrew's house into my car I started singing a worship song. I instinctively turned on the radio but when I realized what I was doing I just turned it back off and kept singing. I had a kind of peace driving home today.

It reminded me of something that I heard that when we follow God's commands and spend time with Him that we experience an outflow of worship from our hearts. An act of the Holy spirit within us.

It made me realize how important discipleship was. I hadn't met for awhile but now that I think about it it makes a lot of sense that my worship in the car was a result of the end of a good discipleship. When we follow God's commands and experience the things that He has specifically called us to, we realize and understand just why and what the purpose of those actions are. The Bible commands "Follow me as I follow God" and that sentence is the definition of how we can walk deeply in Christ.

I want to encourage people who don't have a discipler to actively find one in their church. Even if you're just going to college and don't think you'll be here long, I am learning that a big part of how we grow in Christ is in the relationships that we forge. Of course it is also in quiet times and spending time with God. But to follow after someone further along in the faith, as they follow after Christ is indeed what we are commanded to do. And once you pursue that relationship in whatever setting, even if you have to leave later on, you will find God works greatly in your life through it.

Faith

I have a lot of things on my mind these days. Things have gotten pretty busy since I graduated. I thought that it would be a little simpler without the whole school thing but work life has problems of its own. I've also been studying for the CPA test so haven't really gotten away from the whole school either. All in all I've been pretty busy and tired from the whole affair.

I listened to a sermon on 1 Peter recently. These verses really stuck out to me.

" ⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
1 Peter 1: 6-7

The sermon talked about how through the trials we experience in our life, whether small or large, serve to strengthen our faith and make it of greatest worth in obtaining our salvation. When we struggle with daily life and we turn to God, that strengthens our faith. When we choose to pray rather than worry. When we turn to God and ask Him for the impossible. We know that He will provide in the end according to His good pleasure and love for us.

"“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
Matthew 7:9-11

From that perspective we will finally ease into the idea that God has blessed us abundantly with all that we need, and with the process of sanctification within us. These things that attract us and that call us may not be what is good for us. Though we think that they're the bread we need, they might end up being a stumbling stone on our path. Part of having faith in God is trusting Him in these situations that make you worry and which lead your desires elsewhere. To instead look to God and ask Him to show you what you need to learn and abide by. To work faithfully in His commands and precepts even if you might think you're better somewhere else. I'm learning that I've received an abundance of blessings from Him. And that though I might feel called elsewhere, that as long as He keeps me here He is working in me and refining my faith.

I've been listening to this audio book lately, 'Nothing to Envy.' It's written by a journalist who writes for the L.A. Times. She met with six North Korean defectors and through their stories painted a picture of what life is like in the North. The punishment for practicing Christian faith there is to be executed. It make me sad to hear about those events happening. It also made me appreciate that even the bare minimum here is still something from God.

We have been blessed into a great life here. Despite what small and simple worries we have, it is nothing compared to the ailments of some. God grows us everyday, and there is no trial that we cannot move past. It is also important to not forget these things that are happening in the world. We might or might not be called to do physical work there, but our prayers and actions should extend beyond our bubble here. The parallel I made with this book is that: There are still many people living in darkness. That haven't seen or heard or learned about God. Whether by stubborn choice or because they never had the opportunity. But God is always standing there with open arms. And when we see His greatness and His work in our lives, we see that He has always treated us as His children. Though we didn't know, we see that His blessings and love has always been in our lives. That when we turned to Him and said we want more, He gave us the Bread of Life.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

You make beautiful things

All this pain, I wonder if I'll find my way.
I wonder if my life could really change at all.

Today I was started listening to Beautiful Things by Gungor because Tammy had it as her cellphone ringtone and being the popular girl she is she kept getting calls. The first part of this verse caught my ears, since it seemed to apply to what I was experiencing.

Not that I'm turning emo, but the things going on in my last post are still going on and therefore I'm more contemplative than stupidly happy. I finally picked up Pursuit of God today, after a long break from reading that book I started again from the beginning and found that the feelings I had previous arose again. All this pain, all the struggles and beatings life throws at us and continues to do so, how do we get out of it. I still struggle with this idea of how in every day life and work we can focus everything on God again and again and through the long hours lean to Him and grow and love and cherish the blessings He's given us when in front of us is a huge pile of work that just keeps growing.

As I think to the future, I don't really expect much to change in terms of work life. If I won the lottery and just lived with that it would be nice, but as a wise friend said to me once: "being rich simply makes others covet." I don't think I would want a job that would be easy and simple living for just myself. After observing those older and further along in their walk in the church body I noticed an interesting detail. The husband serves the wife in the work he takes on. He takes the path that allows the wife a higher degree of freedom in her life choices, whether to stay at home or go out and work. In some ways, this is reflective of the love Christ shows us as the head of the church. We are to serve Him but in reality He serves us and grants us daily the needs that sustain us every day. Therefore the husband, being head of the household, should give to the wife all that is possible and serve her in the ways of Christ. I want to do whatever will make my own family better, to allow my wife to choose whatever she feels called to, for my kids to grow in an unbroken home where they can learn the blessings of God and not always the hardship that defines so many of our lives.

All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

Now we know from Bible spoilers that what is lost has been found. We know that God took what was dirty and wretched and make it beautiful. Out of the darkness He pulled us into the light and clothed us in His holiness. "Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless til they find rest in thee." -Augustine. I think this helps in explaining why we as people find it so hard to do any one thing for too long a period of time. There is nothing on earth that could satisfy our hearts.

"The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us. In its stead are programs, methods, organizations, and a world of nervous activity which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart."

Only Christ can satisfy our attention and our hearts. And while it may seem like one activity that might grow old after awhile, the beauty and secret of it is that there is such an infinite depth to His character and love that we can never run out of things to explore while spending time with Him.

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

So we come to this realization that without God everything is incomplete. That we need Him not only in our lives but to be everything to us. We need to give up everything that we cling to that is not Him. To throw our lives away and empty what is the 'self' to be filled by that which demands our everything. To possess nothing of this world but in return to gain that which is untouchable, unbelievable, and unbelievably beautiful.

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it - Matthew 16:25

For me this means to not cling to the future I imagine in my head. To not get ahead of God and begin giving myself things which I feel would give me satisfaction. To live in every moment looking to God and like a recently found child to adore and worship the one who rescued me from the world. It doesn't make sense to write a future for ourselves, when God is undoubtedly the best author out there. To give up our lives isn't something we should think of as bad, because what we get in return is so much greater than our imaginations would've made up.

"Abraham possessed nothing and yet was blessed with everything" -Tozer

Tozer brings up Abraham as a monumental example of someone who trusted in God with all his being and in his life allowed God to take control and make his paths level. However, being a human being Abraham was not perfect and we see in Genesis his continued struggle with his lack of progeny and God's demand of his patience. Tozer tells the story of how Isaac came to being as the one who would fulfill all of God's promises and how Abraham grew instantly to love and adore him. Tozer talks about how Abraham's love for Isaac bordered on dangerous and that his eyes had turned away from God. So finally God had to tear Abraham away from that and demand Isaac be sacrificed. We know that Abraham give up his only son in order to obey God, and in his own way still trusted in God to provide in his promises. Though God was seemingly taking away the thing that He has promised Abraham, Abraham still trusted in God's love and knew that the promise would be fulfilled. He obeyed God to the end despite what seemed like the opposite of 'blessings and riches' and yet what he learned from that could not have been placed in his heart any other way. God knew what would uplift and edify Abraham the most, and He knows our daily needs as well as the drastic milestones that mark our stumbling walk after Him.

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

Out of all the hate and darkness so prevalent in this world, God has made the mustard seed blossom. He's created beauty in this world, and He's made us pure and shining white as well. The righteousness, generosity, and kindness we share with each other each and every day define our reactions to that love. When you face the daily grind of school/work and of life itself, look to Him and find your peace. He makes beautiful things in this world, and died so that we could be counted amongst them. Without Him, we are merely dust that returns to the earth. Look to Him not just as an example of how we should be, but first and foremost as the one who made all this possible: Jesus Christ the Saving One.

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us - Gungor, Beautiful Things

The Making of Joy!

So I've taken a long sabbatical from writing and doing the healthy things in my life to go get a job and be a working man. Sadly that hasn't panned out so I'm back now and hopefully I will make sure to get some thoughts down at least once in awhile....

What a month it has been! After working for a little over a month now I have realized school is just much better. The transition has definitely taken its toll on me and I feel a wellspring of unreconciled feelings building up. I want to give up all these things to God and live in His presence. Not in worry of the past or of the future. Of what job I will have or the mistakes I have made. Not to be jealous of others but rather to see God's will in each of our lives.

The makings of this transition are quite similar to what happened when I began college, so everything kind of goes in a circle. History repeats itself. I just got out of a relationship, just as I did four years ago. The adjustment requires changes to lifestyle and a greater workload, which adds to the stress and buildup. And most of all I am left with the feeling once again I should have taken the time I had to seek after God instead of chasing things I thought would make me happy. The same realization as before happened again: God makes us joyful.

The simple truth of it all makes it easy to say, yet so very hard to follow at times. I'm reminded of a little kid walking with his dad at the beach. The dad promises the kid infinite candy (or whatever you liked as a kid) when they get back home, but they have to walk to the car first. On the way, the little kid forgets the promise and goes around looking for shells and playing with the sand. Here and there the dad urges the kid on and yet still patiently waits for him to be done playing. Sounds like me.

Here we come to the idea of discipline. Pastor Brian gave a sermon on it a couple of weeks ago. It was alongside prayer. He said prayer should encompass all the emotions and love that we feel, but that having these feelings during prayer is not just a spontaneous and random occurrence. These things happen when day after day we come seeking God. When we find ourselves so sinful and so in need of His company and presence. Prayer should burst out of us, we pray not because we owe Him something but because we cannot live without Him. We need it, we crave it, we seek it day in and day out. But for some reason, we don't do it. We just sit twiddling our thumbs waiting for the next splash of joy and forgo the everlasting Joy set before us.

What is this joy that God gives us. We should at least know what we're looking forward to right? I'm reminded of a verse from Hebrews.

²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2

Brian preached on this last week. He talked about how Jesus, for the feast and celebration that awaited Him, endured all the things of this world. Not that we may see it as an example of what we should do, but rather to focus our eyes back on God and know that through Him all these things in our lives are possible!

I've failed to find joy in my work because it hasn't been centered on God. I haven't found it elsewhere because like the little kid, my mind isn't on the greater thing. Work is definitely something I am still getting used to. It's something I appreciate less than I should. It's a privilege and a blessing from God, not the grind that depresses me. Our joy day in and day out come from Christ. It comes from spending time with Him, from praying and hearing His words, from our friends and family that supports us. Whether we are alone or in a crowd, God is always there with His grace, protection, and blessings.

Joy isn't made or found in life outside of God. Being joyful is a response to God's blessings in our lives, and His love in the past present and future. Even when things feel at a loss, having the right focus can give our hearts peace. Thinking back, and thinking presently, I know that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. The more I steer my mind to God in everything I do; in my burdens as well as my happiness I know that despite all my depravity He chooses to embrace me each and every time...and that is Joy.

Starfield

There's a new Starfield album out and I've been obsessed with one of the songs.




There's a live version where they're like "The enemy destroyed" and the whole crowd cheers...soooo cool