The Making of Joy!

So I've taken a long sabbatical from writing and doing the healthy things in my life to go get a job and be a working man. Sadly that hasn't panned out so I'm back now and hopefully I will make sure to get some thoughts down at least once in awhile....

What a month it has been! After working for a little over a month now I have realized school is just much better. The transition has definitely taken its toll on me and I feel a wellspring of unreconciled feelings building up. I want to give up all these things to God and live in His presence. Not in worry of the past or of the future. Of what job I will have or the mistakes I have made. Not to be jealous of others but rather to see God's will in each of our lives.

The makings of this transition are quite similar to what happened when I began college, so everything kind of goes in a circle. History repeats itself. I just got out of a relationship, just as I did four years ago. The adjustment requires changes to lifestyle and a greater workload, which adds to the stress and buildup. And most of all I am left with the feeling once again I should have taken the time I had to seek after God instead of chasing things I thought would make me happy. The same realization as before happened again: God makes us joyful.

The simple truth of it all makes it easy to say, yet so very hard to follow at times. I'm reminded of a little kid walking with his dad at the beach. The dad promises the kid infinite candy (or whatever you liked as a kid) when they get back home, but they have to walk to the car first. On the way, the little kid forgets the promise and goes around looking for shells and playing with the sand. Here and there the dad urges the kid on and yet still patiently waits for him to be done playing. Sounds like me.

Here we come to the idea of discipline. Pastor Brian gave a sermon on it a couple of weeks ago. It was alongside prayer. He said prayer should encompass all the emotions and love that we feel, but that having these feelings during prayer is not just a spontaneous and random occurrence. These things happen when day after day we come seeking God. When we find ourselves so sinful and so in need of His company and presence. Prayer should burst out of us, we pray not because we owe Him something but because we cannot live without Him. We need it, we crave it, we seek it day in and day out. But for some reason, we don't do it. We just sit twiddling our thumbs waiting for the next splash of joy and forgo the everlasting Joy set before us.

What is this joy that God gives us. We should at least know what we're looking forward to right? I'm reminded of a verse from Hebrews.

²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2

Brian preached on this last week. He talked about how Jesus, for the feast and celebration that awaited Him, endured all the things of this world. Not that we may see it as an example of what we should do, but rather to focus our eyes back on God and know that through Him all these things in our lives are possible!

I've failed to find joy in my work because it hasn't been centered on God. I haven't found it elsewhere because like the little kid, my mind isn't on the greater thing. Work is definitely something I am still getting used to. It's something I appreciate less than I should. It's a privilege and a blessing from God, not the grind that depresses me. Our joy day in and day out come from Christ. It comes from spending time with Him, from praying and hearing His words, from our friends and family that supports us. Whether we are alone or in a crowd, God is always there with His grace, protection, and blessings.

Joy isn't made or found in life outside of God. Being joyful is a response to God's blessings in our lives, and His love in the past present and future. Even when things feel at a loss, having the right focus can give our hearts peace. Thinking back, and thinking presently, I know that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. The more I steer my mind to God in everything I do; in my burdens as well as my happiness I know that despite all my depravity He chooses to embrace me each and every time...and that is Joy.