1 Peter 5
I lead this passage for small group, and it had a lot of good things to say to elders and young'uns that apply to everybody really. I guess reading this again, one thing that stood out was verse 8-10.
8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
When I was leading it for small group I didn't really take into account what verse 9 really meant. I recognized that the devil prowls, and recently in my life I've seen that it does and it's presence in tempting me to sin. But now verse 9 gives me strength. We are not alone in this struggle, whatever may be. No matter how much we think we're alone in our sufferings or that some struggle is ours alone, there are only so many situations in the world and so many people to experience them. I'm assured that someone in the world is undergoing the same struggle as me, and I as him. The thing that joins us together however is not our similarities, but rather our joint union and love in Christ. He is who we came from, our present companion, and our future. Together with fellow believers, we resist the sin that tempts us so, and as such the God of grace, who called us to him, will restore us.
10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
For a little while, may seem like a lot at the present time. But as is with most things in life, as it passes by the moments of our sufferings will seem like that, only moments. It's interesting to think that when all has been said and done, it's not that we have grown any more by ourselves, or that we are stronger for the matter. God gives us the strength to accomplish what we are called to. And after our strength is depleted, He is the one who gives us our strength back, who makes us firm in Him, and fixed upon the purpose of our existence.
So as I'm suffering, I know that God is watching over me, and that others around the world are praying for the same thing, are seeking the same peace that I am in wont of. But this is only for a little while, til God calls us to Him, and we shall finally enjoy all the joy that our hearts are ever longing for. The joy that can't be replaced, that lasts forever and never fades. And while we're on earth, God blesses us with his strength and keeps us fixed upon Him, upon the greatness that He is, that we will not be afraid to follow, and not be afraid to declare!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sustaining grace
This week was good, I learned a lot of stuff.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when I had Nutri Sci and Accounting midterms stacked on the same day. I thought that I could totally just drop the nutri sci midterm and do well on it next time since I wouldn't have overlapping midterms again right? Too bad I had 3 in the same week and nutri sci stacked on the same day again. Thus began my week.
I thought it would be a lot worse than it was, and I think that, that difference was what kept me through the week. Needless to say, I was pretty tired through most of it and obviously lacking on sleep. At one point I felt like I would get a heart attack because I had done way too much already.
I read this quote randomly somewhere secret on Monday
Now, granted my sufferings were self inflicted, it doesn't mean they weren't sufferings. But my mind was always on this, and it got me through the days. When you're a kid, you always look for the thing that will always make you happy, and you go for it. As adults, it seems like path to happiness is a little muddy. If we always look for something that doesn't hurt, that doesn't cause us discomfort, I believe we will be looking for the rest of our lives in this world. I say this because I believe that we don't find God, He finds us. I can't imagine how unbelievably difficult it would be to find the Lord when we're covered completely in the filth and sin of our existence.
This phrase makes a lot of sense to everybody. That we should be joyful while we're hurting, that we should find contentment in what God has provided for us, because he sustains us everyday. While I was cramming, I heard the most amazing song ever. I listened to this a lot awhile back, and now that I hear it again I'm reminded of that feeling when God first showed himself to me, and just how amazing that was. It's interesting, because I still feel the same way..sometimes.
The song was written by John Newton, owner of slave traders in the Indies who later reformed and became a priest.
This really moves everything back to God. I understand that sufferings are a part of life, and that they will pass, as happiness does in the same way. I'm really finding it hard to express the feelings that I feel reading these lyrics, and I think it's the same inexplicable feeling of when Grace appeared to us. How can we even begin to describe this deep love, so flawless and beautiful and perfect, given to us the undeserving. And that last part does grieve me so, because I know I am wretched and undeserving, yet I still received it. Through all my sin and shame, I was lifted up from the darkness into where I could see, so those feelings come back once again.
I think when Newton wrote 'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear' He was talking about how when our eyes are opened, all we see is the darkness, the sin in our lives. For someone who had engaged in the slave trade, the fear of all that must have been overwhelming. BUT, it was also Grace that gave him the peace of heart to conquer those fears, to know that he has been brought out of the darkness. I wonder if he knew that God would use him in all these ways.
This past week, I've also been thinking about how we carry each others burdens. I don't believe it simply means to care for others, it means to really love them and pray and be there for their and feel their sorrow in your heart and cry for them. Jesus wept when he felt the sorrow of Lazarus's death. Though He knew that Lazarus would rise again, he still grieved with them, and loved them so. Usually I'm so self absorbed in my own needs and wants that I don't really think about those around me, those going through awful problems that I might have dealt with, and that they could really use prayer for. I have this problem with having pride in having overcome those issues, not realizing that all along someone was praying for me, someone was carrying me burdens, God was holding my hand and at points carrying me across when I could not walk. I want to grieve with them in the same way, to know their burdens and to just let them know that there is a way out, and that the light will appear if they pray hard enough. I wish I could simply place the assurance in their hearts that they will be fine, since in these cases words seem to fall short. But God speaks in the amazingly ways that we're foreign to, and through prayer I know its possible that He will give them the peace the need, and the place to turn to for their troubles, under Him. It's grace that has carried us thus far, and that shall lead us home!
This verse relates to a Switchfoot song I was listening to earlier called 'Gone', where everything that is material disappears. It's kinda cool that I found this verse and then the song came up. One of the verses that really stood out was 'My high school dreams are gone.' and I laughed because my high schools dreams are definitely gone, I don't even think I have one of those realistic what I see the future as moments anymore. Everything fades, so why should we live? I realized recently that I have contentment in not having too much, and I don't think I would mind having a normal job and living like that, but once you add a family and kids the equation gets all jumbled up. Beyond that, I still worry about a lot of things that I should just give up to God. I don't want kids now, (unlike a person I know) but I also know that I need to have some responsibility. Time isn't money, but it also isn't ours to waste, we were placed here for a reason and we need to search after and make sure we answer our call. It kind of leads to prayer, which is what we talked about at sg leader prep. How prayer should be the most important, because it doesn't matter how much we know about the Bible or share or show charity, if we're not communicating with God. In Hebrews, it talks about how Christ was the final perfect sacrifice so we could speak with God directly, as opposed to through the priesthood. It is such a shame that sometimes we take it so lightly, something that Jesus sacrificed himself so we could do and we simply ignore it to do other stuff. Prayer should define our calling, it should define who we are and what we are to do, because that's a place where God communicates to us. We often don't hear what He says because we're simply not listening. All the static and noise of living in this world has numbed us and we need to run from it all even for a little bit if we wish to see and know all the good and grace God has planned for us.
I don't want to cling to the things of this world, the things I love so much. I once bragged that I didn't need much to live with, just my laptop would suffice. But the fact of the matter is I didn't even think of the Bible. We can have everything in the world, but what good is it if we don't have God. (Granted Biblegateway.com is nice) Thinking about these things have simply shown me that I am a great sinner and God is a great savior. God lasts forever, that's nice to know. I believe however that when I finally and fully realize the meaning of those words, I'll be silenced by how powerful they are. I don't think that I can see now how fully I have fallen, and how much God has done for us. I guess I'll keep that in mind for another time.
God, the great provider of all, to Him be everlasting power, dominion and glory till the end of the ages and beyond. Amen.
I Will, am writing this with my own hands.....haha j/k.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when I had Nutri Sci and Accounting midterms stacked on the same day. I thought that I could totally just drop the nutri sci midterm and do well on it next time since I wouldn't have overlapping midterms again right? Too bad I had 3 in the same week and nutri sci stacked on the same day again. Thus began my week.
I thought it would be a lot worse than it was, and I think that, that difference was what kept me through the week. Needless to say, I was pretty tired through most of it and obviously lacking on sleep. At one point I felt like I would get a heart attack because I had done way too much already.
I read this quote randomly somewhere secret on Monday
"Be joyful in your sufferings" -Probably Paul
Now, granted my sufferings were self inflicted, it doesn't mean they weren't sufferings. But my mind was always on this, and it got me through the days. When you're a kid, you always look for the thing that will always make you happy, and you go for it. As adults, it seems like path to happiness is a little muddy. If we always look for something that doesn't hurt, that doesn't cause us discomfort, I believe we will be looking for the rest of our lives in this world. I say this because I believe that we don't find God, He finds us. I can't imagine how unbelievably difficult it would be to find the Lord when we're covered completely in the filth and sin of our existence.
This phrase makes a lot of sense to everybody. That we should be joyful while we're hurting, that we should find contentment in what God has provided for us, because he sustains us everyday. While I was cramming, I heard the most amazing song ever. I listened to this a lot awhile back, and now that I hear it again I'm reminded of that feeling when God first showed himself to me, and just how amazing that was. It's interesting, because I still feel the same way..sometimes.
The song was written by John Newton, owner of slave traders in the Indies who later reformed and became a priest.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
When we've been here ten thousand years
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
This really moves everything back to God. I understand that sufferings are a part of life, and that they will pass, as happiness does in the same way. I'm really finding it hard to express the feelings that I feel reading these lyrics, and I think it's the same inexplicable feeling of when Grace appeared to us. How can we even begin to describe this deep love, so flawless and beautiful and perfect, given to us the undeserving. And that last part does grieve me so, because I know I am wretched and undeserving, yet I still received it. Through all my sin and shame, I was lifted up from the darkness into where I could see, so those feelings come back once again.
I think when Newton wrote 'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear' He was talking about how when our eyes are opened, all we see is the darkness, the sin in our lives. For someone who had engaged in the slave trade, the fear of all that must have been overwhelming. BUT, it was also Grace that gave him the peace of heart to conquer those fears, to know that he has been brought out of the darkness. I wonder if he knew that God would use him in all these ways.
This past week, I've also been thinking about how we carry each others burdens. I don't believe it simply means to care for others, it means to really love them and pray and be there for their and feel their sorrow in your heart and cry for them. Jesus wept when he felt the sorrow of Lazarus's death. Though He knew that Lazarus would rise again, he still grieved with them, and loved them so. Usually I'm so self absorbed in my own needs and wants that I don't really think about those around me, those going through awful problems that I might have dealt with, and that they could really use prayer for. I have this problem with having pride in having overcome those issues, not realizing that all along someone was praying for me, someone was carrying me burdens, God was holding my hand and at points carrying me across when I could not walk. I want to grieve with them in the same way, to know their burdens and to just let them know that there is a way out, and that the light will appear if they pray hard enough. I wish I could simply place the assurance in their hearts that they will be fine, since in these cases words seem to fall short. But God speaks in the amazingly ways that we're foreign to, and through prayer I know its possible that He will give them the peace the need, and the place to turn to for their troubles, under Him. It's grace that has carried us thus far, and that shall lead us home!
All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever. -Isaiah
This verse relates to a Switchfoot song I was listening to earlier called 'Gone', where everything that is material disappears. It's kinda cool that I found this verse and then the song came up. One of the verses that really stood out was 'My high school dreams are gone.' and I laughed because my high schools dreams are definitely gone, I don't even think I have one of those realistic what I see the future as moments anymore. Everything fades, so why should we live? I realized recently that I have contentment in not having too much, and I don't think I would mind having a normal job and living like that, but once you add a family and kids the equation gets all jumbled up. Beyond that, I still worry about a lot of things that I should just give up to God. I don't want kids now, (unlike a person I know) but I also know that I need to have some responsibility. Time isn't money, but it also isn't ours to waste, we were placed here for a reason and we need to search after and make sure we answer our call. It kind of leads to prayer, which is what we talked about at sg leader prep. How prayer should be the most important, because it doesn't matter how much we know about the Bible or share or show charity, if we're not communicating with God. In Hebrews, it talks about how Christ was the final perfect sacrifice so we could speak with God directly, as opposed to through the priesthood. It is such a shame that sometimes we take it so lightly, something that Jesus sacrificed himself so we could do and we simply ignore it to do other stuff. Prayer should define our calling, it should define who we are and what we are to do, because that's a place where God communicates to us. We often don't hear what He says because we're simply not listening. All the static and noise of living in this world has numbed us and we need to run from it all even for a little bit if we wish to see and know all the good and grace God has planned for us.
I don't want to cling to the things of this world, the things I love so much. I once bragged that I didn't need much to live with, just my laptop would suffice. But the fact of the matter is I didn't even think of the Bible. We can have everything in the world, but what good is it if we don't have God. (Granted Biblegateway.com is nice) Thinking about these things have simply shown me that I am a great sinner and God is a great savior. God lasts forever, that's nice to know. I believe however that when I finally and fully realize the meaning of those words, I'll be silenced by how powerful they are. I don't think that I can see now how fully I have fallen, and how much God has done for us. I guess I'll keep that in mind for another time.
Twas Grace that brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home.
God, the great provider of all, to Him be everlasting power, dominion and glory till the end of the ages and beyond. Amen.
I Will, am writing this with my own hands.....haha j/k.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Remedy
Today, I watched paranormal activities, this indie EXCITER film where a couple was in a house haunted by a ghost/demon. It was interesting, because one of my friends kept asking me why people even watched exciters. The movie wasn't that scary, but some parts were a little freaky. In the end though, it was very comforting to know that God is our Redeemer and that he makes us safe because he cares for us. I think with this perspective watching a horror isn't really like hanging off a cliff and having God come rescue you. I don't believe its a ouji board or anything that attracts demons, its just...interesting. One of the main things that stood out in the movie however was simply how prideful the dude was when he was challenging the demon. For some reason he believed that he had the power to defeat him with yelling and physical bluffs. But...you can't defeat a spirit that way haha.
Thinking about it and remembering that Jesus is the one where our hope lies, I paid a little more attention to my conversations with people and realized that in my life there is a lot of pride I have been ignoring because I'm just used to it. Baring all instants where I jokingly brag that I know all, I saw that naturally I made assumptions about my own capabilities that weren't true. For one thing, when people say a movie was scary but I didn't think so, I'm proud to declare that fact. When in reality my rationale for not being afraid was that Jesus is the savior and that he provides that sanctuary. It's funny how I can take credit for something that goes back to Jesus once again.
On another note.
What does it mean to carry each other's burdens? At the surface level, it seems to suggest that we should care for each other and support them in their endeavors. But I wonder if there's more to it then that. I'll think about this a little more.
It's reassuring to know that as things change, and as we prepare to graduate and enter the world, that there is something solid and constant to hold on to. I don't really want to move on, I want to keep the friends I have now, the community, and the ease of life. I don't think I fear change, I've dealt with it so many times in the past, I'm just really tired of it. So I think I'll end with this verse.
Thinking about it and remembering that Jesus is the one where our hope lies, I paid a little more attention to my conversations with people and realized that in my life there is a lot of pride I have been ignoring because I'm just used to it. Baring all instants where I jokingly brag that I know all, I saw that naturally I made assumptions about my own capabilities that weren't true. For one thing, when people say a movie was scary but I didn't think so, I'm proud to declare that fact. When in reality my rationale for not being afraid was that Jesus is the savior and that he provides that sanctuary. It's funny how I can take credit for something that goes back to Jesus once again.
On another note.
2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
What does it mean to carry each other's burdens? At the surface level, it seems to suggest that we should care for each other and support them in their endeavors. But I wonder if there's more to it then that. I'll think about this a little more.
It's reassuring to know that as things change, and as we prepare to graduate and enter the world, that there is something solid and constant to hold on to. I don't really want to move on, I want to keep the friends I have now, the community, and the ease of life. I don't think I fear change, I've dealt with it so many times in the past, I'm just really tired of it. So I think I'll end with this verse.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrew 13:8
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Keyboard
Someone messed up my keyboard,
Now I can't scroll correctly.....
YOU know who you are! Fess up and watch paranormal activities as an apology!
Now I can't scroll correctly.....
YOU know who you are! Fess up and watch paranormal activities as an apology!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The will of God
I didn't mean to write in this blog so often but it seems like everyday something comes up that I feel I could write down and explore so here we go.
I always think of myself as easygoing, because I don't care about much and because most of the things I do I don't really plan or think through. It leads to some rather interesting and entertaining situations that I feel are a blessing in my life. For instance, today when I was hanging out with a friend, someone wanted to go to 99, so obviously I decided to tag along. And on the way out I ran into our roommates heading home and suddenly we're all going to 99 together, which turns out to be a fun time. (We bought snacks) I think I've always been looking for people like these to hang out with, since I always seem to find that most of the people I know are studying half the time and planning their lives the rest. It's a nice change to always be exposed to people that are willing to do random junk w/o a plan and just going with the flow.
However there's always upsides and downsides to these situations, we obviously don't get much work done so it leads to a lot of cramming and really stressful times in between all the joy and laughter. I also began thinking whether why it happens now that I experience what I consider to be happiness and a time of good. Recently I began wondering if this is God's will for me to have this peace, and if so how should I glorify him in it, that it isn't simply a time to fellowship but that God is the center of our fellowship, that in what he has blessed us with we can glorify him. I find it hard. It's so easy to forget yourself in the moment, but when you are alone and finally thinking back about your day, it isn't necessary true that you will feel the same happiness you felt back then. What you really think about is what you did and the consequences of those actions. I find that in my memories the ones that stood out the most aren't the ones where I had good times with friends, but when God acted in them, whether to my joy or sorrow. And I've began realizing that in these times now it is important to treat them as Christian fellowship, because God is the one who gave it to us. It doesn't mean that we can't laugh or have fun, but that in this fun that glory to God should come, whether in growing brotherly love or charity and goodwill.
I also watched Up today. It was a good movie, I don't think it was amazing but I was falling asleep and dangerously close to falling on someone's shoulder so 1/4 of my mind was focused on not doing that. I liked the beginning more than everything, but what struck me was that, time really passed by for them. I wonder if when I'm old I'll imagine everything as a blur, because I already see high school as having zoomed bye. It made me uneasy, because I still see the world as something I want to explore and to enjoy. It is God's will? Or my own desires?
I'm considering how I would accomplish this. I suppose that his law within my heart is the conscience I have, the Holy Spirit's sanctifying process in me. But do I really desire to do God's will? How can I tell what's his will or not? What does it mean to trust him so much that his will will be the only path I can choose?
One thing happened today that I feel worked out really well was seeing if I could actually graduate on time. I checked my DARS and it told me I was missing half my requirements for graduation. I began to panic in my head like crazy, I didn't wanna be stuck in school for so long or rather I didn't wanna be forced to take some classes and not the ones I wanted to. But we had guests over and I really didn't want to be a burden and just brood, so I reminded myself that God was good, he is holy, and that he will take care of things in his time. There wasn't a point to worry and panic then, (not that there ever is a time to) so I made a conscious decision to drop the issue until I could have the chance to figure it out. After everything ended, I checked DARS again and realized that the person who clicked the report (yes you did) picked the one from last year and I was on track completely to graduate...What a relief.
Which really brings up the point of misunderstandings, which is becoming a huge issue in my life. But we'll have to save that for another time.
What I wanted to say and what I learned was that God is working in us, and that as a result we will desire to do his will. How can we know what his will is? To keep living the life that he has calls us to, to attain the values and desires of his heart, letting go of any pride we might have in our persons or accomplishments. As long as we keep living a godly life and use his strength rather than ours, his will will become clear to us. I certainly have not reached this point, but I believe that the way we figure out his will is a straight line. I always thought that God shows us in strange ways and that we have to make sense of things. I think that is more of a fault of our own sin that God's clear word becomes distorted in our heads. That in reality he is being very clear with us and as we grow and seek him, our hearts will naturally desire what he has deemed his will.
This actually goes into video games now, because as I was saying earlier I'm pretty easygoing but when video games enter it seems everything changes. I don't believe that many things make me mad in the course of a day, but every time I play a game it's so much easier to forget my self control and my mind becomes more harsh. Does this mean I should stop playing video games? Maybe, but I really don't want to. I might be wrong in this, but I feel that it is also a good time to practice patience and caring. It's very easy to be angry online because you are so detached from the other players, you don't see their faces nor hear their names, and so in a way they are dehumanized into simple characters on a stage. When we dehumanize something, respect for it disappears, and we don't really treat them with the love that we should express towards other human beings. And I think that is something to work on...because it plays into real life as well. We are called to be caretakers of the environment, but how can we do that if we don't appreciate and love the trees and the world around us? It's a quest for me to keep in mind that all these things are not simply items on a screen but rather people. I can't profess to be a Christian in life and not have it show in all aspects, because God works completely in our lives in every part.
I always think of myself as easygoing, because I don't care about much and because most of the things I do I don't really plan or think through. It leads to some rather interesting and entertaining situations that I feel are a blessing in my life. For instance, today when I was hanging out with a friend, someone wanted to go to 99, so obviously I decided to tag along. And on the way out I ran into our roommates heading home and suddenly we're all going to 99 together, which turns out to be a fun time. (We bought snacks) I think I've always been looking for people like these to hang out with, since I always seem to find that most of the people I know are studying half the time and planning their lives the rest. It's a nice change to always be exposed to people that are willing to do random junk w/o a plan and just going with the flow.
However there's always upsides and downsides to these situations, we obviously don't get much work done so it leads to a lot of cramming and really stressful times in between all the joy and laughter. I also began thinking whether why it happens now that I experience what I consider to be happiness and a time of good. Recently I began wondering if this is God's will for me to have this peace, and if so how should I glorify him in it, that it isn't simply a time to fellowship but that God is the center of our fellowship, that in what he has blessed us with we can glorify him. I find it hard. It's so easy to forget yourself in the moment, but when you are alone and finally thinking back about your day, it isn't necessary true that you will feel the same happiness you felt back then. What you really think about is what you did and the consequences of those actions. I find that in my memories the ones that stood out the most aren't the ones where I had good times with friends, but when God acted in them, whether to my joy or sorrow. And I've began realizing that in these times now it is important to treat them as Christian fellowship, because God is the one who gave it to us. It doesn't mean that we can't laugh or have fun, but that in this fun that glory to God should come, whether in growing brotherly love or charity and goodwill.
I also watched Up today. It was a good movie, I don't think it was amazing but I was falling asleep and dangerously close to falling on someone's shoulder so 1/4 of my mind was focused on not doing that. I liked the beginning more than everything, but what struck me was that, time really passed by for them. I wonder if when I'm old I'll imagine everything as a blur, because I already see high school as having zoomed bye. It made me uneasy, because I still see the world as something I want to explore and to enjoy. It is God's will? Or my own desires?
I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart. Psalm 40:8
I'm considering how I would accomplish this. I suppose that his law within my heart is the conscience I have, the Holy Spirit's sanctifying process in me. But do I really desire to do God's will? How can I tell what's his will or not? What does it mean to trust him so much that his will will be the only path I can choose?
One thing happened today that I feel worked out really well was seeing if I could actually graduate on time. I checked my DARS and it told me I was missing half my requirements for graduation. I began to panic in my head like crazy, I didn't wanna be stuck in school for so long or rather I didn't wanna be forced to take some classes and not the ones I wanted to. But we had guests over and I really didn't want to be a burden and just brood, so I reminded myself that God was good, he is holy, and that he will take care of things in his time. There wasn't a point to worry and panic then, (not that there ever is a time to) so I made a conscious decision to drop the issue until I could have the chance to figure it out. After everything ended, I checked DARS again and realized that the person who clicked the report (yes you did) picked the one from last year and I was on track completely to graduate...What a relief.
Which really brings up the point of misunderstandings, which is becoming a huge issue in my life. But we'll have to save that for another time.
What I wanted to say and what I learned was that God is working in us, and that as a result we will desire to do his will. How can we know what his will is? To keep living the life that he has calls us to, to attain the values and desires of his heart, letting go of any pride we might have in our persons or accomplishments. As long as we keep living a godly life and use his strength rather than ours, his will will become clear to us. I certainly have not reached this point, but I believe that the way we figure out his will is a straight line. I always thought that God shows us in strange ways and that we have to make sense of things. I think that is more of a fault of our own sin that God's clear word becomes distorted in our heads. That in reality he is being very clear with us and as we grow and seek him, our hearts will naturally desire what he has deemed his will.
This actually goes into video games now, because as I was saying earlier I'm pretty easygoing but when video games enter it seems everything changes. I don't believe that many things make me mad in the course of a day, but every time I play a game it's so much easier to forget my self control and my mind becomes more harsh. Does this mean I should stop playing video games? Maybe, but I really don't want to. I might be wrong in this, but I feel that it is also a good time to practice patience and caring. It's very easy to be angry online because you are so detached from the other players, you don't see their faces nor hear their names, and so in a way they are dehumanized into simple characters on a stage. When we dehumanize something, respect for it disappears, and we don't really treat them with the love that we should express towards other human beings. And I think that is something to work on...because it plays into real life as well. We are called to be caretakers of the environment, but how can we do that if we don't appreciate and love the trees and the world around us? It's a quest for me to keep in mind that all these things are not simply items on a screen but rather people. I can't profess to be a Christian in life and not have it show in all aspects, because God works completely in our lives in every part.
5Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 6And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. 2 Corinthians 13:5-6
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Humility
C.S. Lewis talks about pride being one of the deadliest sins, because we don't always think about it. For example, lets say a man has a great problem with his anger. And in his efforts to read and reform he manages to suppress this anger, and he gives himself all the credit for doing so. He believes he has won dominance over his sin, but then there is another sin waiting for him. It's like replacing a cold with cancer.
We don't think about pride that strongly because it isn't as well defined in physical form as other sin. Pride is very subtle, and because we don't think about it, its very dangerous. A man can live his life perfect and sinless and yet be engaged in pride at this very moment. This is why Jesus calls us to be humble and meek, why Peter stresses it so. We at some points in our lives feel like we can do anything through out own strength and believe that all the days of our lives. That it was I who did it, it was I who conquered, who won the game, who saved that person, who preached the gospel, who showed his love and strength in his endurance of persecution.
But it wasn't me, in fact I strongly doubt that good we do is actually by our own ways and mind. We are such wretched creatures that I am starting to believe alone we are utterly incapable of even a sliver of the love that the Godhead has created and so graciously bestowed upon us. God is the one who saves, He is the one who conquered, who dominants sin, who gives us the strength to serve and survive persecution and to declare that HE IS LORD OVER ALL. It's not by our strength that we can recognize his sovereignty, it's not by our strength that we can even realize that there is a God who loves and who cares for us. It's God working in us, its God convicting us of our beliefs, and God who gives us our families, our friends, and most importantly the opportunity for salvation.
How dare we think for even a moment that these works are done through our hands. As wretched creatures we are incapable of good, incapable of conquering the sin that so defines and underlines our lives. God freed us from sin. God works in us to good deeds. We can't fall into this idea of thinking that its half God and half us, its ALL GOD. So how can we have pride? Why do we even need pride? The devil suggests that pride will justify us, that our own accomplishments will define our greatness and our future worth. But what is worldly worth compared to the greatness of heaven and the rewards God has promised, that we have received through no action of our own. How can we seek self worth when the greatest thing of all is impossible to reach and so close at hand.
Today I studied 1 Peter5 , where Peter urges the young generation to be humble under the mighty hand of God. And I wondered what this exactly means, what it means to be humble under Christ and how this would work in my life. I learned the lesson much faster than I expected. In my obsession to have some societal gain I put the words of man as my priority, rather then through pray and supposition make my wishes known to God. And everything fell apart, I don't even know what happened but nothing I did seemed to work out in respect to my goals. And then the passage I had just learned came into mind.
What was I even thinking? When the answer was so clearly in front of me, why would I go anywhere else? God will take in my worries, he'll remove them from me, because he LOVES me and CARES for me. I have not been abandoned. God is watching out for me, and I should stop running from him, I should stop believing that I can in any way by myself influence the path that God has seen for me to walk in. I let my pride get in the way of my walk and try to force by humanly means what should have been left to God from the start. He cares. He loves. And as I walk and learn to humble myself to him, to trust in God instead of men, I know that my worries will leave me, and that it will be good. And how will I humble myself? God will provide the lessons and the strength to endure through and take them in. He will carry me on the path to him, and teach me to trust in him. IT'S ALL GOD. It was never me. God is the remedy, He is the one who has saved us. He forgive us. He's coming again.
All is well with my soul.
We don't think about pride that strongly because it isn't as well defined in physical form as other sin. Pride is very subtle, and because we don't think about it, its very dangerous. A man can live his life perfect and sinless and yet be engaged in pride at this very moment. This is why Jesus calls us to be humble and meek, why Peter stresses it so. We at some points in our lives feel like we can do anything through out own strength and believe that all the days of our lives. That it was I who did it, it was I who conquered, who won the game, who saved that person, who preached the gospel, who showed his love and strength in his endurance of persecution.
But it wasn't me, in fact I strongly doubt that good we do is actually by our own ways and mind. We are such wretched creatures that I am starting to believe alone we are utterly incapable of even a sliver of the love that the Godhead has created and so graciously bestowed upon us. God is the one who saves, He is the one who conquered, who dominants sin, who gives us the strength to serve and survive persecution and to declare that HE IS LORD OVER ALL. It's not by our strength that we can recognize his sovereignty, it's not by our strength that we can even realize that there is a God who loves and who cares for us. It's God working in us, its God convicting us of our beliefs, and God who gives us our families, our friends, and most importantly the opportunity for salvation.
How dare we think for even a moment that these works are done through our hands. As wretched creatures we are incapable of good, incapable of conquering the sin that so defines and underlines our lives. God freed us from sin. God works in us to good deeds. We can't fall into this idea of thinking that its half God and half us, its ALL GOD. So how can we have pride? Why do we even need pride? The devil suggests that pride will justify us, that our own accomplishments will define our greatness and our future worth. But what is worldly worth compared to the greatness of heaven and the rewards God has promised, that we have received through no action of our own. How can we seek self worth when the greatest thing of all is impossible to reach and so close at hand.
Today I studied 1 Peter5 , where Peter urges the young generation to be humble under the mighty hand of God. And I wondered what this exactly means, what it means to be humble under Christ and how this would work in my life. I learned the lesson much faster than I expected. In my obsession to have some societal gain I put the words of man as my priority, rather then through pray and supposition make my wishes known to God. And everything fell apart, I don't even know what happened but nothing I did seemed to work out in respect to my goals. And then the passage I had just learned came into mind.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5: 6-7
What was I even thinking? When the answer was so clearly in front of me, why would I go anywhere else? God will take in my worries, he'll remove them from me, because he LOVES me and CARES for me. I have not been abandoned. God is watching out for me, and I should stop running from him, I should stop believing that I can in any way by myself influence the path that God has seen for me to walk in. I let my pride get in the way of my walk and try to force by humanly means what should have been left to God from the start. He cares. He loves. And as I walk and learn to humble myself to him, to trust in God instead of men, I know that my worries will leave me, and that it will be good. And how will I humble myself? God will provide the lessons and the strength to endure through and take them in. He will carry me on the path to him, and teach me to trust in him. IT'S ALL GOD. It was never me. God is the remedy, He is the one who has saved us. He forgive us. He's coming again.
All is well with my soul.
Monday, October 19, 2009
We The Redeemed
We sang this song in church today. It's one of those songs that when the worship team hits the course, everybody raises their hand and shouts it.
I was sitting down trying to stay awake...today it seemed like everything I've been holding off or running away from finally caught up, and I found myself just wanting to go home and sleep away the day. I still though, though I've rationalized that another day will simply yield the same result and eventually I'll run out of money to pay for rent.
Why does it seem like every time I have a firm grasp on reality it just jumps away? All I really want is just for things to be constant, to not change...I've had enough of change, enough of finding new friends or keeping in touch with old ones. Why can't God just give me that much at least?
My friend's blog related Christianity to smoking. Apparently as a smoker, if you quit, all the tar and stuff just forces itself out. As a Christian, when you're born again, all the sin that's accumulated in your life should leave and you should be freed from it all. That makes sense in idea, but in practice all I find is my old sin recurring again and again and for all the good and blessings I have received I can't seem to relent from the constant lust and anger that plague my life.
I always considered my testimony in Christ to be gradual, the constant drip of a leak rather than a huge storm. But I really wonder if my mind has recognized what my heart knows to be true. If it did I would feel more compelled to love right? To dash away my old sins? To care for strangers and the weak? Why don't I? I judge rather than love. I expect the worst from others, but demand their best. It's a recipe for disaster at best.
Yet it seems the further I run from God, the more He calls me to him, to hide in the shadow of his wing, to enjoy his greatness. What God has blessed for me I can never deny, nor give it back. Even though I'm stagnant, I still feel his presence, the constant calling to grow, to stop lagging, to embrace his love and realize that though I'm wretched and poor, it doesn't matter.
It's so simple in the end. I am stuck worrying about all the petty details of daily life when there's so much more to be enjoyed would I only open my eyes. I want to stop dwelling on everything that doesn't work out and live in God.
It feels like I have a spiritual cold right now, that everything is really shitty and I just want to sleep it away. But after a cold, there's always an appreciation for the reality of things, to take in all the wonders of our days that we take for granted. To remember the friends that held us through it and the God that walked with us all the days of our lives.
My roommates and I watched Amazing Grace today, and though it was a change in plans somehow it now looks like it was for the best. In the movie, William Wilberforce receives a calling from God, and as he tries and tries to answer it he's simply stalled until finally in his later years it finally worked out. I was staggered by how long he had been working in this path, and just how through it all he received so much grace and love in his life. Thinking about waiting 15 years to have something happen, all the while struggling through ridicule and slander, is pretty terrifying. We always praise and idolize those who do amazing feats of physical and mental capacity, but what about those who's gift in life was the wonderful talent of patience.
I wish I had that talent. I have no patience at all. I get annoyed often, angry if it's video games. God awards those who have patience in him. Like Abraham, Noah, Job, all those who trusted in God through their calls, though many years had passed before they saw the gifts God would provide them.
What does it mean to walk with God? How do I do it? I want a manual darn it. I don't want to be told to pray and wait for what God calls me to, I just want it written down. I want someone to tell me exactly what to do. The funny thing is, I know God is telling me what to do, and showing me what I'm being called to, I just haven't opened my eyes yet.
I guess in the end I don't like this gradual process business. But all good things in life take time....like trees, wine, and most importantly salvation.
Today I was very angry, at something which in the future will seem very childish. But for now I still simmer and yell and scream. I don't think I'll keep this anger for long, but why does it seem like its the only thing in my life that matters right now.
One thing I have been blessed with is that I tend to not hold grudges. God will be working even as I struggle, and I know He is sovereign.
I was sitting down trying to stay awake...today it seemed like everything I've been holding off or running away from finally caught up, and I found myself just wanting to go home and sleep away the day. I still though, though I've rationalized that another day will simply yield the same result and eventually I'll run out of money to pay for rent.
Why does it seem like every time I have a firm grasp on reality it just jumps away? All I really want is just for things to be constant, to not change...I've had enough of change, enough of finding new friends or keeping in touch with old ones. Why can't God just give me that much at least?
My friend's blog related Christianity to smoking. Apparently as a smoker, if you quit, all the tar and stuff just forces itself out. As a Christian, when you're born again, all the sin that's accumulated in your life should leave and you should be freed from it all. That makes sense in idea, but in practice all I find is my old sin recurring again and again and for all the good and blessings I have received I can't seem to relent from the constant lust and anger that plague my life.
I always considered my testimony in Christ to be gradual, the constant drip of a leak rather than a huge storm. But I really wonder if my mind has recognized what my heart knows to be true. If it did I would feel more compelled to love right? To dash away my old sins? To care for strangers and the weak? Why don't I? I judge rather than love. I expect the worst from others, but demand their best. It's a recipe for disaster at best.
Yet it seems the further I run from God, the more He calls me to him, to hide in the shadow of his wing, to enjoy his greatness. What God has blessed for me I can never deny, nor give it back. Even though I'm stagnant, I still feel his presence, the constant calling to grow, to stop lagging, to embrace his love and realize that though I'm wretched and poor, it doesn't matter.
Glorious, glorious one
You have saved us
Honour and power and praise to the savior
You are the answer
You are the answer
It's so simple in the end. I am stuck worrying about all the petty details of daily life when there's so much more to be enjoyed would I only open my eyes. I want to stop dwelling on everything that doesn't work out and live in God.
It feels like I have a spiritual cold right now, that everything is really shitty and I just want to sleep it away. But after a cold, there's always an appreciation for the reality of things, to take in all the wonders of our days that we take for granted. To remember the friends that held us through it and the God that walked with us all the days of our lives.
My roommates and I watched Amazing Grace today, and though it was a change in plans somehow it now looks like it was for the best. In the movie, William Wilberforce receives a calling from God, and as he tries and tries to answer it he's simply stalled until finally in his later years it finally worked out. I was staggered by how long he had been working in this path, and just how through it all he received so much grace and love in his life. Thinking about waiting 15 years to have something happen, all the while struggling through ridicule and slander, is pretty terrifying. We always praise and idolize those who do amazing feats of physical and mental capacity, but what about those who's gift in life was the wonderful talent of patience.
I wish I had that talent. I have no patience at all. I get annoyed often, angry if it's video games. God awards those who have patience in him. Like Abraham, Noah, Job, all those who trusted in God through their calls, though many years had passed before they saw the gifts God would provide them.
What does it mean to walk with God? How do I do it? I want a manual darn it. I don't want to be told to pray and wait for what God calls me to, I just want it written down. I want someone to tell me exactly what to do. The funny thing is, I know God is telling me what to do, and showing me what I'm being called to, I just haven't opened my eyes yet.
I guess in the end I don't like this gradual process business. But all good things in life take time....like trees, wine, and most importantly salvation.
Today I was very angry, at something which in the future will seem very childish. But for now I still simmer and yell and scream. I don't think I'll keep this anger for long, but why does it seem like its the only thing in my life that matters right now.
One thing I have been blessed with is that I tend to not hold grudges. God will be working even as I struggle, and I know He is sovereign.
Here You Are
Here You Are
Our Beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us
-DCB
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